Random thoughts
I'm up late, once again, not able to sleep - took a couple of Tylenol PM caplets in the hopes that they'll kick in soon. In the meantime, this would be a great time to put some random thoughts down.
First of all, this HCG weight loss program has been a real journey, hasn't it? I have to admit that I was feeling pretty durned pleased with myself after having an amazing Round 1 before joining the HCG Challenge. I felt that I knew what I was doing, and that I had conquered my weaknesses and addictions, and that I could do this protocol for as long as it takes without bending or breaking. Boy, was I wrong! There have been a few days, like today, when I've been so hungry I could eat my own arm - but then I followed the advice of a wise friend and tried the EFT, and it worked. The key was making myself stop and think. However, I recognize that we are all vulnerable to slipping - I wish I could be as kind to myself (and mean it) as I feel toward my friends here who have had such challenges and struggles. Why do we talk to ourselves so harshly when we would never, ever talk to our friends that way?
I'm still hungry, but don't feel so out of control about it. I got some organic romaine lettuce leaves and snacked on them - they had enough body to them to satisfy that urge to chew on something. Since the hour is so late, I'm not sure how that's going to affect the weight in the morning. I still feel hungry, and am pretty sure that the impending monthly gig is the culprit. In the meantime, need to keep my wits about me and use the knowledge I've gained to stay the course.
Am wondering if some of the hunger could be dehydration? The temp here in North Texas has been in the 90's for the last week or so. I've been drinking the various teas like crazy, but haven't been able to make myself drink much water - I'm just really not crazy about water! Another thing that makes me wonder about dehydration is because I've been having some probs getting these contact lenses to be comfortable. I've never worn them before, so am not sure what is "normal" and what is a problem. Went back to the eye doctor today, and he's given me some solutions, but he did say that my eyes were very dry.
Next week, or whenever the cycle ends (if it ever starts!) will be my last injections for this round. I'll be leaving town on vacation on June 7th, and am really excited to see my family for my Mom's 80th birthday. Since I'm going to be on the Protein phase, I should be able to make wise choices most of the time. I'm a little worried because Mom wants to eat Italian the night of her birthday, and I know there's going to be cake. There have to be reasonable choices at an Italian restaurant, don't you think? I'm worried about the cake. Not so much having a little tiny piece of cake, but more that it could trigger a binge. This strikes terror into my heart!
I'm also torn on whether I should continue with the short Phase 3 round and then get back on the injections when I return to town, or whether I should go ahead and take the three weeks for Phase 3 and three more weeks for Phase 4. Or, should I just take the 3 weeks of Phase 3, and then start on back with the injections? One thing I know for sure is that my last round of HCG will be the full time frame to get back into "real life" mode.
Tomorrow is our company barbecue at work. I wish I could go, but if I'm sitting out there while they've got that grill fired up, I'll be done! I get so tired of having to be "good" sometimes. Certainly, the rewards are great, but I can't tell you how I look forward to the time when I can go into a social situation and not have to be so conspicuous about following a weight loss program. Thankfully, with the HCG protocol, I should be able to enjoy Labor Day without feeling like I'm being punished. And in my head and heart, I know this isn't "punishment", but it certainly feels like it sometimes!
Well - I think the sleep aid may be kicking in, so will draw this series of random musings to a close and try to catch some of those elusive Zzzzzs. Thanks for reading!
First of all, this HCG weight loss program has been a real journey, hasn't it? I have to admit that I was feeling pretty durned pleased with myself after having an amazing Round 1 before joining the HCG Challenge. I felt that I knew what I was doing, and that I had conquered my weaknesses and addictions, and that I could do this protocol for as long as it takes without bending or breaking. Boy, was I wrong! There have been a few days, like today, when I've been so hungry I could eat my own arm - but then I followed the advice of a wise friend and tried the EFT, and it worked. The key was making myself stop and think. However, I recognize that we are all vulnerable to slipping - I wish I could be as kind to myself (and mean it) as I feel toward my friends here who have had such challenges and struggles. Why do we talk to ourselves so harshly when we would never, ever talk to our friends that way?
I'm still hungry, but don't feel so out of control about it. I got some organic romaine lettuce leaves and snacked on them - they had enough body to them to satisfy that urge to chew on something. Since the hour is so late, I'm not sure how that's going to affect the weight in the morning. I still feel hungry, and am pretty sure that the impending monthly gig is the culprit. In the meantime, need to keep my wits about me and use the knowledge I've gained to stay the course.
Am wondering if some of the hunger could be dehydration? The temp here in North Texas has been in the 90's for the last week or so. I've been drinking the various teas like crazy, but haven't been able to make myself drink much water - I'm just really not crazy about water! Another thing that makes me wonder about dehydration is because I've been having some probs getting these contact lenses to be comfortable. I've never worn them before, so am not sure what is "normal" and what is a problem. Went back to the eye doctor today, and he's given me some solutions, but he did say that my eyes were very dry.
Next week, or whenever the cycle ends (if it ever starts!) will be my last injections for this round. I'll be leaving town on vacation on June 7th, and am really excited to see my family for my Mom's 80th birthday. Since I'm going to be on the Protein phase, I should be able to make wise choices most of the time. I'm a little worried because Mom wants to eat Italian the night of her birthday, and I know there's going to be cake. There have to be reasonable choices at an Italian restaurant, don't you think? I'm worried about the cake. Not so much having a little tiny piece of cake, but more that it could trigger a binge. This strikes terror into my heart!
I'm also torn on whether I should continue with the short Phase 3 round and then get back on the injections when I return to town, or whether I should go ahead and take the three weeks for Phase 3 and three more weeks for Phase 4. Or, should I just take the 3 weeks of Phase 3, and then start on back with the injections? One thing I know for sure is that my last round of HCG will be the full time frame to get back into "real life" mode.
Tomorrow is our company barbecue at work. I wish I could go, but if I'm sitting out there while they've got that grill fired up, I'll be done! I get so tired of having to be "good" sometimes. Certainly, the rewards are great, but I can't tell you how I look forward to the time when I can go into a social situation and not have to be so conspicuous about following a weight loss program. Thankfully, with the HCG protocol, I should be able to enjoy Labor Day without feeling like I'm being punished. And in my head and heart, I know this isn't "punishment", but it certainly feels like it sometimes!
Well - I think the sleep aid may be kicking in, so will draw this series of random musings to a close and try to catch some of those elusive Zzzzzs. Thanks for reading!
posted by Susan at
9:27 PM
3 Comments:
Susan,
You are too funny!! I always enjoy reading your posts! You are doing GREAT! Congrats on the new decade!! Keep it up...you will hit ONEderland before ya know it!!
Lori
I sometimes go with my kids to an Italian restaurant here in town. They have Fillet Mignon - I request they remove the bacon (I don't eat that anyway) and then grill the steak dry (no butter or oils) - but you'll be in P3 right? So, you could have the butter and oil and bacon if you like. I also request a huge salad in place of the vegetables. I just let them know that I am on a doctor regimented diet and have to have specific foods and am very limited. They are usually really understanding and accommodating.
@Lori: Glad you enjoy reading, and appreciate the positive reinforcement. Thanks for stopping by! :)
@Toni: Good point about ordering a steak - seems like most nice Italian places offer steaks and seafood, so as long as I keep my wits about me, everything should be OK. Thanks for your help! :)
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